Ring ring.
I groggily open my eyes to the sound of my phone buzzing. I threw a glance to my window, the darkness still pouring in, the light from the street lamps barely illuminating my boxed room.
I reached for my phone, squinting at the time it read.
Three thirty-seven in the morning.
I slid my thumb across the screen, clearing my throat as I said, 'Hello?'
My answer was a series of sobs and I immediately perked up. 'Robyn? What's wrong? Why are you crying?' A lump caught in my throat at the sounds of my best friend in pain.
'I'm sorry,' she cried. 'I'm so sorry, but I can't do it anymore. I tried, I really did-'
I cut her off, my own tears threatening to fall. We'd been through this ritual before; time and time again. 'What have you done...'
But this time, I knew, was different.
'I can't stop,' Robyn sniffled and my heart cracked. 'I've done it so many times. A couple more and I'll bleed out-'
'No,' my voice shook as I whispered to her. 'You will not leave me. Do you hear me?' I could feel my voice begin to raise as I remembered my sleeping family, dreaming quietly while I convinced my best friend not to end her life.
'There's blood everywhere, Rebecca. I don't know what to do. I want to do it, and I tried.' My eyes blurred once again as I took in her words, but I kept my voice strong. I had to be strong.
For her.
'Listen to me now. If you do this, I will never forgive you. Think about the people you're leaving behind. Your parents, your little sister!'
'Me,' I whispered, my hands shaking uncontrollably as memories of the past came flooding back; the blood, the blade, and the tears flowing down her face as I held her in my arms on the floor of her room.
'I just don't want to do this anymore. I can't.' Her sobbing voice brought me back to reality and this time I couldn't help the tears that poured from my eyes, or the sobs that I could no longer choke down.
'Why, Robyn? Why would you do this? How could you leave me?' I brought my hand to my mouth, attempting with all my might to stifle my strangled sobs as I remembered the scars that crawled up her wrists, the fresh ones still crusted with crimson blood that I had wipe away.
'This isn't easy!' Robyn screamed, her cries becoming heavier until it was all I could do not to burst out of my skin.
'You have so many people who love you! You have your whole life ahead of you, you have time for things to get better!'
Her sobs became quieter and she was silent.
'Life just isn't worth living anymore. Nobody would care if I died.' Her voice became louder and my heart twisted at her gut-wrenching words.
Nobody would care...
My heart pounded as my anger blazed, my body shaking severely. 'Listen here and listen good. Everyone would care if you died. Think about the people you're leaving behind! And the future we'd planned together? Our double-dates and dorm-room parties? Our matching tattoos and Golden Retriever puppies? Are you going to throw that all away and leave me?'
My voice cracked then and I broke down. I had been strong for too long and the thought of her leaving me clawed its way up through me, reaching out and choking my heart. My cries of pain became louder.
Robyn became silent for a while and I worried slightly, pondering if she'd be cruel enough to slit her wrists while I sat helplessly on the other end of the line.
'You're right,' she eventually whispered ad I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
'I love you too, Rebecca. You're my best friend and you've been with me through all of this. You are the reason I'm still here and I couldn't leave you.'
Her words sparked something in me and I smiled slightly, despite the pain and the anxiety. I smiled despite the waking up every morning and wondering if I'd see her that day, and I smiled despite every horrific event I'd ever witnessed. I smiled even though the images and the memories of her scars still haunt me, still flash before my eyes and cause my heart to pound.
'So, did you finish the math homework?' I relaxed as she laughed softly. 'Don't even remind me.'
