I stand up from my crouch position on the leafy ground and walk towards a huddle of trees that lie before the lake. The sun is shining beautifully between them, brightening the whole scene. I change the scene mode from IntelligentAuto to Scenery to capture the moment perfectly. I perch myself down on a fallen tree trunk to level up with the trees and and the sun. I press down on the shutter button.
Click!
I stand up and walk around the tree trunk, hearing the leaves crunch beneath my size three feet that just about fit into my walking boots. I see sap collecting into a puddle on top of the bark of the tree, probably having dropped from the trees above it. I smell the rain from the previous night, the bright green blades of grass covered in morning dew, and the earthy smell of the fir trees that stand in abundance.
How could anyone want to destroy such a place?
I take one final look at my safe haven, one final breath of the fresh, inborn air, and one final listen to the sound of nature and what she has created.
I bring up my camera for the last time, taking a deep breath, determined to make this one the best one.
"One for the road," I mutter to myself.
I am about to click the shutter button for the last time when I stop. Stop everything.
I slowly turn around, keeping my head down at all times.
"Miss me?" The voice is light and joyful and I find my head yanking itself up without my permission.
"Mum..." My voice comes out in barely a whisper and I can feel the tears threatening to fall from my stormy blue eyes-the ones I inherited from her.
I can't hold it back any longer. I let the tears flow freely and run to her, longing for the warmth and safety her hugs bring, the soothing calmness her voice delivers to anyone in need of reassurance.
I fling my arms around her and bury my head in her chest, trying to absorb the moment while it lasts, because now I know that things don't last forever.
"Shhh, love. It's ok. Everything's fine." Her voice is sweeter than sugar and softer than a sheepskin coat.
"No!" I cried. "Everything's not fine! Not since you left. I want you to come back...please come back!" My salty tears ran down my face and into my mouth. This is how it always went. The same thing over and over again.
Never ending nightmare.
"Mama, please." I whisper, not trusting my voice one bit.
"You know I can't do that, love. You know you can't bring back the dead." She kisses my forehead and strokes my hair.
"I love you," she whispers.
"I love you too, Mama." I sigh in content happy to see her once more.
Suddenly an ear piercing sound screeches through the air. The same sound every time.
"MUM!" I scream as she is ripped away from me.
I leap up from my bed, panting and sweating with the dream still haunting my mind. Every night the dreams plague me. I can't get rid of them! Ever since she died...
I flop back in my bed, too tired to try and figure out what the dream meant this time.
